Wednesday, March 11, 2009

gah. i m in internally pissed mood now over come comments made even thou u probably wouldnt see a major change in my countenance.

i remember the other day i met weilin on the way home from smu openhouse, and she was telling me she had 5 weeks more to deadline. so i was like alot of time wad, so why are u coming back to school on a saturday. just chill and take it easy. her response set me thinking. her response in a light hearted way was "aiya, zai zai know ur pattern one". so i looked at myself, and i remembered logistics in pjc openhouse, i remembered the student council attachment programme, i also remember true pioneer initiative. there were days i worked till 0300hrs in the morning, slept for an hour and a half, work for another 1 hour plus then fly off to school. so i looked at myself, the words, hardworking, dedicated, committed, perfectionist, detail orientated, administrative excellence came to my mind.

then i thought of the 2 month delay for the first council tee. the 2 week delay for the second. meetings of which i constantly disappeared from. the council camp i tried to pon but in the end, i decided to go cus mr tong sent me a message and i didnt want to disappoint a teacher hus work ethic and style i respected. to me its a pity i never got into a committee to work with him directly. but anyway. i thought of the procrastinator, the irresponsible, uncommitted, rebellious, inefficient slacker.

then i thought again, in my opinion of myself. how can i be such a weird combination of both.

fast forward and months later. cleaned up the act alittle. but in a certain way, it felt like council all over again, design battalion invitation cards, notice board maintenance. it was like publicity committee round two. armskoteman, logistics all over again. i did the designs in half a day, sent and updated them accordingly. was even earmarked for armskote ic course. something had to be going right, right?
i guess getting them right got me this COPA job.

came in, isnt a slacking heaven like most people think, but administrative wise i was strong. managed to kiv stuff without forgetting them, managed my boss' calendar. grew into this role, learning how to deal with officers, document accounting, exercise preparation. a night i worked till 4am, 2 nights i didnt sleep because of work.

the last 2 paras sound familiar??

then there are days, i retreat to the bunk for naps cus my boss went out for meetings, days i skipped battalion pt to set up the conference room and stayed in the bunk for awhile after its done. days i spend the entire day on the i net cus i had no work to do. two blunders but non in recent weeks as i continue to learn and adapt.

there are days where the departments goes on off, days where u guys can take mc. days where u guys can book out the day before to go on 8 hour medical appointments. u guys can take leave. u guys can go 3 div. i cant. or i have to go thru many levels of approval. there are even days when i leave much later then u even tho there are days i disappear earlier. cus i m the COPA. essentially my job allows me a different set of privileges, but also comes with its own exclusive set of limitations.

does that really make me a slacker?? does that make me an estab liability?? do i come up with excuses for everything?? do i cease to bond with my department mates and cease to help them in way i know how when i can afford to??

i think not. i m not a jm. dont ever ever say i m in anyway like him. cus my freakin zai zai pattern, is not wad it used to be, its not negatively predictable anymore. and most of all. i get my work done and i get my work done well. and this, my boss and file cabinet, i with all my heart believe, can vouch for.

|cowpoo| 1:05 PM|

------